1. live-as-a-teen:

    dogepom:

    patickstump:

    if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

    "Who’s flat now?"

    whos flat now

    (Source: patickstump, via i-am-mishafuckingcollins)

    bleep0bleep:

    heathyr:

    THERE’S BEEN AN INCIDENT AND THE PRESIDENT’S SON (WHO IS SO VERY LOVED BY THE PUBLIC) NEEDS TO BE MOVED NOW

    [movie narrator voice] IN A WORLD WHERE THE LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD’S ONLY WEAKNESS ISHIS QUICK-TO-DODGE-SECURITY- ENTHUSIASTIC-FRESHLY-GRADUATED-FROM-COLLEGE SON, THE COUNTRY IS ON EDGE WHEN THE FIRST SON DISAPPEARS. THE RANSOM DEMAND IS HIGH BUT THE STAKES ARE CLEAR THE KIDNAPPERS MEAN TO SEND A MESSAGE AND DON’T PLAN ON RETURNING HIM ALIVE. THE ONE FORMER SECRET SERVICE AGENT WHO QUIT HIS JOB MONTHS AGO BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF GETTING TOO CLOSE TO HIS CHARGE NOW IS DETERMINED TO BRING HIM BACK 

    [dramatic fade to black, the music swells and then fades, and then the only sound is the slick slide of leather over skin]

    image

    (Source: kwanghale, via owlmylove)

  2. brallon:

    @joshuadun casual. @patrickstump” 

    (via overcast-kid)

    demonsee:

    American Spider by Darayz

    (via fiftyshadesofstony)

    (Source: dcwneyjr, via fiftyshadesofstony)